From the Mind of Garrison Keillor

Most everyone is aware of Garrison Keillor, an American author, singer, humorist, voice actor, and radio personality.

In a change of pace, I offer a recent offering by this ‘celebrity’ that I think you’ll find, as I did, both insightful and fun.

I thank Fox Joannie and spouse Fox Kathleen for making me aware.

An old man disposing of possessions

By Garrison Keillor

Clearing out an apartment a man sees what a work of art domestic life is, and clearance demands an iron will, no shilly-shallying, no regrets. Hundreds of books must go. The painting of the blizzard must go; I bought it long ago because it reminded me of Minnesota mornings and walking to school, and now she informs me that it gives her the heebie-jeebies, and because I am in love with this woman. I offer it up as a sacrifice. This impresses her and so she allows me to keep the stone busts of Mark Twain and Erato the Muse of lyrical poetry. Horse-trading. I keep the bust of Lincoln because it reminds me of my father.

I keep mementos of family and teachers. Now and then young progressive Democrats have said to me, when I expressed an opinion, “Well, you’re a privileged white male,” and of course they’re right. In first grade, Mrs. Estelle Shaver kept me after school to read aloud to her and one day the janitor walked in and she said, “Listen to him, Bill. Doesn’t he have a wonderful voice. I love to listen to him while I grade lessons.” It was remedial reading, of course, but she made me believe I’d been chosen for this privilege and she changed my life. In fourth grade I was leery of playground bullies, and Mrs. Fern Moehlenbrock let me spend recess in the library. She knew I loved to read. To know at the age of 10 what you love is a privilege.

Honors were bestowed on me in my professional life that might impress you but they were minor annoyances compared to the blessings of good teachers.

The young Democrats are nursing their resentments in behalf of the underprivileged, a noble though harmless exercise, and I am an old Democrat who allows himself to be grateful. It’s a beautiful summer, the new valve in my heart is working, my wife is happy, I’m trucking around doing shows, and people tell me jokes: Ron DeSantis is struggling politically because he keeps having Disney spells.

Politics is uglier than ever before. Politicians refer to an “invasion” of Hispanic migrants across the southern border and then a man, using the word “invasion,” killed 23 in a Walmart in El Paso. A former president’s website offered up the Obamas’ home address and a gentleman read it and announced that he was going to try to get “a shot” and the Secret Service arrested him near the home, carrying two guns and 400 rounds of ammunition.

It’s hard to imagine Bob Dole doing that to Bill Clinton. Respect for the rival is taught to children in games; you line up afterward and give a fist bump to the opponents who were in your face minutes before. I admire my competitor Taylor Swift, a dedicated professional and a generous soul. I don’t do costume changes in my show, I just stroll out on stage and sing a prayer and sing about fading daffodils and the brevity of summer and “This thou perceiv’st, which makes thy love more strong, to love that well which thou must leave ere long” and the crowd and I sing “My country, ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty,” which they probably haven’t sung since the sixth grade, and we do the one about deer and antelope, and maybe the Doxology, and while Taylor gives hope and affirmation to the anguished young, I assure the aging that they’re heading in the right direction. Past 70 there is a tremendous diminishment of B.S. around you. And your sins diminish: your greed is satisfied at any ATM, your lust is for more sleep, your gluttony is for a Dairy Queen Blizzard, your sloth becomes meditation.

I’m an English major, an education that prepared me for a career in valet parking, but instead I go around and allow the curious to see a grateful old man. My people invaded from Yorkshire and Wales, and we’ve done well here, thanks to good teachers and our elders who taught us gratitude. Life itself is a privilege: look around you and be grateful for the trees, the grass, Lincoln, Twain, even the snow falling in the painting, and thanks to the good people who took it off my hands. I’m in the deletion business: I’ve eliminated running, TV (except for baseball), and I gave away my unread Moby-Dick. Not enough time. I hear that Ahab dies and Ishmael survives to tell the tale. Good enough. Time for a walk.

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Have a great and prosperous week.

Hug somebody.

SPIDER Bites

This week’s trivia question: What state has the longest freshwater shoreline? The answer to last week’s – the animal nicknamed ‘sea cow’: Manatee. (Floridians knew this one.) Manatees are between 8 and 13 feet long and weigh between 450 and 1,300 pounds. They are herbivores. A lot of people swim with them in Florida.

The movie Oppenheimer spent little time on the science behind nuclear energy and focused on the ‘politics’ accompanying its creation. There are two types: fusion and fissure. Fission is the splitting of a heavy, unstable nucleus into two lighter nuclei, and fusion is the process where two light nuclei combine together releasing vast amounts of energy. Our sun uses fusion which is much more difficult to control – and why it currently has no practical application on earth – as yet. If we really wanted to get rid of fossil fuel electrical generation, we’d be focused on building nuclear power plants. Current nuclear power uses synthetically made metal plutonium made from uranium-238. No emissions. If you’re not a genius in quantum physics, leave it to the ‘Einstein’s.’

The total number of 16+ aged people who are working or looking for work compared to the total 16+ age people in the non-institutionalized, civilian population, gives us the Labor Participation Rate. Pre-pandemic that rate was 63.3% – the July jobs report 62.6%. The peak number of those with full time employment was 2019’s 153M. In July 2023 that number was 136.8M. What are those formerly employed, 16M people doing today? BTW, of the jobs added so far this year, 25% have been hired by the public sector. Bidenomics.

No surprise. As the national debt surpasses $32T, and estimates are it will top $35T in the next two years, the US credit rating was lowered from AAA to AA+ last week, with Fitch citing “expected fiscal deterioration over the next three years,” along with an erosion of governance and a growing general debt burden.

So what else is new? Trump was indicted again, this time for ‘intentionally’ questioning and thinking the results of the 2020 general election were non-certifiable. What? It appears the scales held by Lady Justice are not balanced.

Inflation is not over. Oil futures topped $80 again last week. Goldman Sachs analysts projected that crude prices will reach $86 per barrel by the end of 2wouldand rise further to $93 per barrel by the second quarter of 2024. The price on Friday was $82.64. The average price of gasoline in CA was $5.05/gallon. MS had the lowest at $3.33.

Meanwhile, Disney World has terminated all Diversity, Equity and Inclusion programs after they were banned by the new Walt Disney World’s governing district.

The Dept of Energy last week quietly revised the 30% cost savings it had calculated by eliminating gas stoves to 9 cents per month. Let’s have another mindless regulation, please.