What Makes You Happy?
Here’s the question of your life: Are you happy?
Our Declaration of Independence says that among our unalienable rights are: “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
Note it doesn’t say you and I have a right to be happy, only that we are free to pursue it.
So, how do we get to happiness? What does it feel like?
It’s a question that’s been asked since recorded time.
Aristotle wrote that all other human desires exist as a way to obtain happiness.
The great poets over the centuries have spent much time and some beautiful words describing it.
Fairy tales and love stories conclude with the words, or least the implication of, “happily ever after.”
When we pleased our parents as youngsters were we happy? When we graduate from school(s) are we happy? If we overcome an addiction, are we happier than when we were addicted? If we succeed in our chosen careers, are we happy? If we fall in love, are we happy. If we wed a person we love, are we happy? If we have children, are we happy? If we attain any goal or objective, are we happy?
If the answer to two or more of the preceding questions is yes, it would suggest that happiness can change over time. So, it’s not an absolute thing, is it?
Happiness would also seem to depend on the culture we grew up in and live in. So, expectations of us would also seem to be a factor. We were happy and proud of ourselves when our parents praised us when we learned how to use the toilet.
Every religion has a time for celebration, for happiness, usually preceded by a time of some sacrifice
And something else. Mind altering drugs and/or alcohol became and remain popular because users believe they will make them happier. A night ‘on the town’ can lead to a ‘happy’ time, suggesting we try to catch fleeting times of induced happiness.
We might sometimes think doing outstanding work for which we are paid leads to happiness. While we might think we sound like one of the 7 dwarfs in Snow White whistling while going off to work in the diamond mine, I think that’s ‘satisfaction.’ Satisfaction is certainly related to happiness, but I don’t think that’s it. I think happiness leads to success and satisfaction, not the other way around.
Certainly we know that happiness isn’t genetic. We’re not born with or without it. You don’t carry the ‘happy’ chromosomes or DNA while I carry the sad, the depression gene.
Can anyone be happy by making other people sad? Do you think “climate” protesters are happy when and after defacing and/or gluing themselves to a work of art? What about other protesters? Are criminals happy? I don’t think so.
Enough of that sad stuff.
Just for fun, I asked some family members and friends – off the top without thinking too much – what made them happy. Here’s a summary of what they said:
Silent Generation: Friendships, Family time; Good health; Good Food; Remembering Friday nights (end of week’s work).
Baby Boomers: Family Time; Volunteering; Broadway Shows; Good book; Seinfeld.
Generation X: Helping others, Family Time; Watching the kids have fun; Frosting.
Generation Z: Playing Sports; Spending Time w/ Family.
Me: Watching a thunderstorm pass over from our lanai; pursuing my blog writing hobby; seeing and spending time with family; enjoying friends; dry Belvedere martinis; seeing Kathleen happy.
OK, I admit cheating a little and spending a little more time than the others. Regardless, the results of this little survey were interesting. What shouts through all the generations seems to be the importance of family (including spouses) and friends for happiness.
I also found an offering on the internet that I found worthwhile. The title was something like “5 Ways to be and stay happy:”
- Focus on the Positive
- Consistently spend more time outdoors
- Pay somebody (at least periodically) to do things you don’t like to do
- Compare yourself only with yourself
- Think about friends more than connections
What makes you happy? Write it down. Keep it handy and maybe add to it over time. Consider making it a topic for a dinner or pub conversation.
I’ll close with a short poem by Sri Chinmoy:
Do you want to be always happy?
Then give up fighting
For negativity
And learn the beautiful art
Of self-encouragement.
Smile and be happy! It’s the same price.
**************
Have a great and prosperous week.
Hug somebody.
References:
SPIDER Bytes
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